Its the end of the year as we know it!
Well well well,
So its time. Well its the end of the time for the year that was, 2006. An interesting year it was. Let me try to remember some things which happened (come on memory);
When i re-read that list, there seems to be quite alot missing on the emotional side of things. Overall i have to say ive had a good year. Its probaly the most hectic and crazy year i have had to date. The breaking up thing, travelling thing. Its probaly the year in which i had to make quite a few big decisions which would effect me for a long time. For the better? I think it was.....in the sense of me growing emotionaly and into a stronger person. Does that mean it was the right choice? Hehe only time will tell.
Ive been reading lately and talking to people, and it seems like life is just one big catch 22 in a sense. Its like life's on a spectrum which has the opposites on both sides and you end up going to one and then to the other. Hehe you just got to laugh at it i guess, it is quite amusing.
Sometimes you want to be in a relationship, but when you are, you dont want to be. You become a stronger person (mentally and pyshically) but all you want is someone to look after you. You go on treks and are amazed at what you have done but want to share that with someone special.
I guess it all just comes down to doing want you want to do and going from there. You cant think too much about everything, you have to let things happen naturally and on their own. From all the books i have read about life/journey's/spirtuality stuff, i have come to the conclusion, is that you look after yourself and do what you wish and everything else will fall into place.
I guess thats why i want to go to peru, cause its what i want to do. Then i have days when i think...what the hell am i doing lol. That happens every now and then but then goes away. I have to travel. It makes the most sense to me at the moment. I'm young, fit, healthy, hopefully strong enough to do some crazy trekking and silly enough too. But then you have that day when you think of other possibilities. The possibility of being in a relationship with someone. The idea of doing a complete u-turn and going back to old ways. It seems like the easiest thing to do, but i know like everything else its for a short term lil gain. Funnily enough, it reminds me of that Decadence program on TV (sbs on wednesdays). Talks about the decadence of our society's morales and everthing. Anyway, its like the metaphor of a McDonalds burger. At first its so nice and filling, but then 5mins later you feel like crap. I guess thats what i feel like at the moment. Testing times i guess.
I guess i can kind of relate that to women too. That sounds harsher then it is. What i mean is that....there has been times when i could of been with people but i have chosen not too. Its the same feeling i had when i was travelling and just totally sick of girls. The reason i have chosen not too.....well...im not exactly sure what it is. Maybe im trying to be on this morale high ground when im really not. Im dont know. I do know though, when its there for the taking and your doing it for the wrong reasons...then i guess u shouldnt. And i have been strong on that as of late. Maybe i just need to drink a bit more and relax lol, maybe i should just do stuff for the hell of it. But i know i would feel quite wrong afterwards, but then again who's there to answer too? Unfortunately the majority of the time i have a conscience. Hehe, i sound do negative ' unfortunately i have a conscience hahah'. Oh well, maybe enough of this stuff.
Whenever most people thinks of the new year..they think about changing things, about doing other things in the new year. You know...about getting fit , yeah! or loosing weight, yeah! or quiting smoking etc. I guess its actually a good thing. But isnt there that statistic that 95% of peoples new year resolutions never come about. Which gets me back to the point, that if you actually wanted to change something you would. You would be proactive about it. You would do it now, today. Again i just think of things like xmas presents. Dont ask me why but it just connects in my brain like that. You know, how you buy ppl xmas presents cause its xmas. Or because its Valentines day, or someother bs. Ive always thought, why not buy them a present today? why not buy them a present on another day. You shouldnt have to give them a gift because its xmas, or because its valentines day. You should give them a gift cause you want to regardless of the day. (i have an exception for bdays).
Maybe im just a very cynical person lol, i admit i am. Xmas is nearly totally bs these days especially when you work in retail. Its all a scam. It a coincedence, that theres sales the day after xmas? Oh well, of corse theres still people who believe in the good things about xmas and how it originated etc. I actually like the xmas period so to speak, cause people have time off work and we have time to visit family. Thats the best part, the capitalistic bs of xmas shopping is just getting way to much. I think that got a bit out of control. I should state you have to start somewhere with what you want to do, it just seems new year (resolutions) are a popular time for that.
So. To the future, it is i guess. To next year.....ooo 2007. The big year? The best year? The year i fall in love again? The year i wake up in my own shit? Haha who knows, eitherway it will definately be a year to remember, and so it should be.
Love
Joely
So its time. Well its the end of the time for the year that was, 2006. An interesting year it was. Let me try to remember some things which happened (come on memory);
- I went travelling overseas in march and by doing so ended a relationship.
- I got to see all my mum's family in findland and see how they all live
- I got to know all the family which i have in England too, which i didnt know of or very well at all
- I got to wake up in my own shit whilst in portugal, something i hadnt done since i was about 2days old.
- Was able to meet some pretty amazing peoples whilst overseas, who i still keep in contact with today
- I was able to pay back my accumulated holiday debt to my parents through saving stringenly
- I started to learn another language, Spanish, something which i will continue in March next year
- I got back into being fit and heathy again whilst still enjoying myself
- I had a short 3week relationship with someone
- I have saved a bit of money for my next trip to Peru next year.
When i re-read that list, there seems to be quite alot missing on the emotional side of things. Overall i have to say ive had a good year. Its probaly the most hectic and crazy year i have had to date. The breaking up thing, travelling thing. Its probaly the year in which i had to make quite a few big decisions which would effect me for a long time. For the better? I think it was.....in the sense of me growing emotionaly and into a stronger person. Does that mean it was the right choice? Hehe only time will tell.
Ive been reading lately and talking to people, and it seems like life is just one big catch 22 in a sense. Its like life's on a spectrum which has the opposites on both sides and you end up going to one and then to the other. Hehe you just got to laugh at it i guess, it is quite amusing.
Sometimes you want to be in a relationship, but when you are, you dont want to be. You become a stronger person (mentally and pyshically) but all you want is someone to look after you. You go on treks and are amazed at what you have done but want to share that with someone special.
I guess it all just comes down to doing want you want to do and going from there. You cant think too much about everything, you have to let things happen naturally and on their own. From all the books i have read about life/journey's/spirtuality stuff, i have come to the conclusion, is that you look after yourself and do what you wish and everything else will fall into place.
I guess thats why i want to go to peru, cause its what i want to do. Then i have days when i think...what the hell am i doing lol. That happens every now and then but then goes away. I have to travel. It makes the most sense to me at the moment. I'm young, fit, healthy, hopefully strong enough to do some crazy trekking and silly enough too. But then you have that day when you think of other possibilities. The possibility of being in a relationship with someone. The idea of doing a complete u-turn and going back to old ways. It seems like the easiest thing to do, but i know like everything else its for a short term lil gain. Funnily enough, it reminds me of that Decadence program on TV (sbs on wednesdays). Talks about the decadence of our society's morales and everthing. Anyway, its like the metaphor of a McDonalds burger. At first its so nice and filling, but then 5mins later you feel like crap. I guess thats what i feel like at the moment. Testing times i guess.
I guess i can kind of relate that to women too. That sounds harsher then it is. What i mean is that....there has been times when i could of been with people but i have chosen not too. Its the same feeling i had when i was travelling and just totally sick of girls. The reason i have chosen not too.....well...im not exactly sure what it is. Maybe im trying to be on this morale high ground when im really not. Im dont know. I do know though, when its there for the taking and your doing it for the wrong reasons...then i guess u shouldnt. And i have been strong on that as of late. Maybe i just need to drink a bit more and relax lol, maybe i should just do stuff for the hell of it. But i know i would feel quite wrong afterwards, but then again who's there to answer too? Unfortunately the majority of the time i have a conscience. Hehe, i sound do negative ' unfortunately i have a conscience hahah'. Oh well, maybe enough of this stuff.
Whenever most people thinks of the new year..they think about changing things, about doing other things in the new year. You know...about getting fit , yeah! or loosing weight, yeah! or quiting smoking etc. I guess its actually a good thing. But isnt there that statistic that 95% of peoples new year resolutions never come about. Which gets me back to the point, that if you actually wanted to change something you would. You would be proactive about it. You would do it now, today. Again i just think of things like xmas presents. Dont ask me why but it just connects in my brain like that. You know, how you buy ppl xmas presents cause its xmas. Or because its Valentines day, or someother bs. Ive always thought, why not buy them a present today? why not buy them a present on another day. You shouldnt have to give them a gift because its xmas, or because its valentines day. You should give them a gift cause you want to regardless of the day. (i have an exception for bdays).
Maybe im just a very cynical person lol, i admit i am. Xmas is nearly totally bs these days especially when you work in retail. Its all a scam. It a coincedence, that theres sales the day after xmas? Oh well, of corse theres still people who believe in the good things about xmas and how it originated etc. I actually like the xmas period so to speak, cause people have time off work and we have time to visit family. Thats the best part, the capitalistic bs of xmas shopping is just getting way to much. I think that got a bit out of control. I should state you have to start somewhere with what you want to do, it just seems new year (resolutions) are a popular time for that.
So. To the future, it is i guess. To next year.....ooo 2007. The big year? The best year? The year i fall in love again? The year i wake up in my own shit? Haha who knows, eitherway it will definately be a year to remember, and so it should be.
Love
Joely
posted by Joely at 11:40 pm
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