So.
So i sit here...not having posted in quite a while. I was on top of things before and posting alot. What has happened?
Not much ehhe.
To change the subject, im listening to Sarah Blasko's new album and i have to say im pleasently suprised. The single they keep playing on triple J 'the gardens end' is amazing. I cant say i have listened to her first album...but this is impressive. It kind of reminds me of Emiliana Torrini but not as acoustic as fisherman's women. Which reminds me, i need to get her first album also :\.
Hmm im getting a bit distracted, maybe i should turn down the music.
So, I have been working about 4days / week....30hrs..which isnt too bad, but i think over the next month i need to ramp that upto about 38hrs, specially because of xmas too. Atm im saving about 350 / week from my pay. Which doesnt leave me much at all left for doing any socialising / going out. So i have become alot tighter with my money and concious on my spending. I hardly ever buy needless things......my only real expensive besides transport is food. Which im quite happily spend my money on as i care what i eat. I have been eating healthy like normal too so im happy about that.
Due to my new found tightness, my social life have definately suffered. I havent been going out nearly as much nor getting drunk as i use too. Atm my budget doesnt allow me to have crazy nights and also save the amount i need to save, so im sacrificing some social life. But i guess you have to sacrifice somethings in order to reach goals...or something like that.
Ive been looking after myself alot. I still do my stretches every single morning. I think have missed doing them say 3-4 times since i been back, so im quite impressed with myself about that. Its such a routine now..that even if i dont feel like doing them when i get up ....i still do and i feel better as soon as i start them. Suprising it also has helped a lil with my posture and i have to say i never have any back aches or issues either these days. Though i still have my hunchbackness a little lol.
What else is new? After spending more time with Mindy, we both decided we should start seeing eachother.....a bit more officially i guess. This is a hard for me to type about. As im not too sure about what to type or say or how ppl will devour the information. Anways, so far its been very chilled. She lives quite far away from me, which i think is a good thing for the relationship because basically i didnt really want to be in another one. I didnt think i was quite ready or anything...or more along the lines i was quite happy being totally selfish and not caring about anyone. Its quite refreshing being in 'single' mood. But i spoke to a few ppl about entering another relationship and they all basically said give it a chance. So i decided i would.
I have to say my mindset is totally different from my past relationship. Its along the lines of........just do what u want and not get carried away with things. Something i can honestly say i was not good at in the last one.
Honesty is such a lonely word, but what i mostly what i need from you. (Billy Joel lyric believe it or not).
So what should i say. I have alot to say i think i do.
I Still think about my past relationship alot. Nearly everday. I still feel unsure about things i stilll feel weird about things i still feel like i dont understand everything i still feel i keep hitting a wall when i think about it. I understand certain things from it. I understand we learnt alot from eachother, i understand we both put our hearts into it at different times, i understand its best for us not to be together. But that doesnt mean it doesnt make me upset or that i dont feel hurt or that im not emotional about it. I still run lots of scenario's through my head about stuff......which all go in a circle and still hit a wall. But i know i will understand it alot more one day, but theres no need to rush that, that comes i guess with more experience.
So to a new beginning? Ha, not really, that sound so cliche`. In this new relationship.....i feel alot more independent, i think alot more with my head. One of the reasons which help me enter a new relationship, was i felt the other person had a clear understanding of how i felt or what to expect. More along the lines of ...having a sort of grounding.....before we started.
The way i put this sounds so structured...or manufactured.....or....organised or something like that. Maybe its about the way i handle things now. Maybe its a new way for me to handle things.....in order to stay in control? Thats quite cynical. I think its just a new different way to do things. Is it good or bad? Its not either, its just letting urself try something new, not worrying about whats going to happen, but instead understand whats happening now and going along with that.
Again something i was maybe not good at previously.......maybe something i should of thought about before. I dont know. You cant change things in the past, you have to just learn from them.
Feelings are feelings...emotions are emotions and their crazy just like the oceans.
Good night.
Not much ehhe.
To change the subject, im listening to Sarah Blasko's new album and i have to say im pleasently suprised. The single they keep playing on triple J 'the gardens end' is amazing. I cant say i have listened to her first album...but this is impressive. It kind of reminds me of Emiliana Torrini but not as acoustic as fisherman's women. Which reminds me, i need to get her first album also :\.
Hmm im getting a bit distracted, maybe i should turn down the music.
So, I have been working about 4days / week....30hrs..which isnt too bad, but i think over the next month i need to ramp that upto about 38hrs, specially because of xmas too. Atm im saving about 350 / week from my pay. Which doesnt leave me much at all left for doing any socialising / going out. So i have become alot tighter with my money and concious on my spending. I hardly ever buy needless things......my only real expensive besides transport is food. Which im quite happily spend my money on as i care what i eat. I have been eating healthy like normal too so im happy about that.
Due to my new found tightness, my social life have definately suffered. I havent been going out nearly as much nor getting drunk as i use too. Atm my budget doesnt allow me to have crazy nights and also save the amount i need to save, so im sacrificing some social life. But i guess you have to sacrifice somethings in order to reach goals...or something like that.
Ive been looking after myself alot. I still do my stretches every single morning. I think have missed doing them say 3-4 times since i been back, so im quite impressed with myself about that. Its such a routine now..that even if i dont feel like doing them when i get up ....i still do and i feel better as soon as i start them. Suprising it also has helped a lil with my posture and i have to say i never have any back aches or issues either these days. Though i still have my hunchbackness a little lol.
What else is new? After spending more time with Mindy, we both decided we should start seeing eachother.....a bit more officially i guess. This is a hard for me to type about. As im not too sure about what to type or say or how ppl will devour the information. Anways, so far its been very chilled. She lives quite far away from me, which i think is a good thing for the relationship because basically i didnt really want to be in another one. I didnt think i was quite ready or anything...or more along the lines i was quite happy being totally selfish and not caring about anyone. Its quite refreshing being in 'single' mood. But i spoke to a few ppl about entering another relationship and they all basically said give it a chance. So i decided i would.
I have to say my mindset is totally different from my past relationship. Its along the lines of........just do what u want and not get carried away with things. Something i can honestly say i was not good at in the last one.
Honesty is such a lonely word, but what i mostly what i need from you. (Billy Joel lyric believe it or not).
So what should i say. I have alot to say i think i do.
I Still think about my past relationship alot. Nearly everday. I still feel unsure about things i stilll feel weird about things i still feel like i dont understand everything i still feel i keep hitting a wall when i think about it. I understand certain things from it. I understand we learnt alot from eachother, i understand we both put our hearts into it at different times, i understand its best for us not to be together. But that doesnt mean it doesnt make me upset or that i dont feel hurt or that im not emotional about it. I still run lots of scenario's through my head about stuff......which all go in a circle and still hit a wall. But i know i will understand it alot more one day, but theres no need to rush that, that comes i guess with more experience.
So to a new beginning? Ha, not really, that sound so cliche`. In this new relationship.....i feel alot more independent, i think alot more with my head. One of the reasons which help me enter a new relationship, was i felt the other person had a clear understanding of how i felt or what to expect. More along the lines of ...having a sort of grounding.....before we started.
The way i put this sounds so structured...or manufactured.....or....organised or something like that. Maybe its about the way i handle things now. Maybe its a new way for me to handle things.....in order to stay in control? Thats quite cynical. I think its just a new different way to do things. Is it good or bad? Its not either, its just letting urself try something new, not worrying about whats going to happen, but instead understand whats happening now and going along with that.
Again something i was maybe not good at previously.......maybe something i should of thought about before. I dont know. You cant change things in the past, you have to just learn from them.
Feelings are feelings...emotions are emotions and their crazy just like the oceans.
Good night.
posted by Joely at 4:01 am
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