Spit that image
Random topic.....thats for sure.
So have i been many interesting things lately...well yes i guess so, life is pretty good. Basically just been working all week. Played some squash with seb, lucas and adam on monday night and was heaps of fun. First time played in ages and i was quite sore the next 2 days i could hardly bend down as my bum hurt heaps. I was pretty happy with how i played and i seemed to be semi-fit and last for most of the games. Hopefully it can turn out to to be a weekly thing, like wednesday soccer. To soccer,
last night roo and i met up after work and then had a game of pool and a beer at the tavern in chatswood. Then headed to the casino to watch the big game. We met up with my brother, masha, nzilla and some of their friends which was cool. But roo and i went off and watched the game from a different spot. We had quite a few drinks and was such a funny night. Roo was going for uraguay i think just to piss me off lol. Well that was one of the greatest sporting events ever for australia!! When i think about it....i think to myself.....where am i going to be next year in June...where will i be watching it. I get the feeling i will make a rash decision and fly to germany and watch them play........eheh i get all excited thinking about it. Anyway it was the best farkn game, my gawd, i was so excited, ecstatic....rediculasly happy. The vibe at the casino was so good too...packed out totally....and we ended up huggin lots and lots of strangers and dancing and just having a jolly good time. After the game roo and i stayed a bit longer and went to the bar and had a few cocktails. Some really good ones.....hehe its good when ur with someone who actually knows whats in and what cocktails taste like.
So had a couple of them and listened to this two piece band, vocalist and guitarist playing songs at the bar. Roo and i tried to request RATM - killin in the name of and various other artists including michael jackson but unfortunately they couldnt play them....or probaly wasnt quite the right vibe or style to play for the audience. However, we did get them to play some TLC and Kylie Minogue......persistant pays off sometimes. Well after a little boogying...we head into a cab home. Got home pretty early about 2.30ish i guess.
Work today was pretty crazy eheh, i was pretty hungover which was probaly a good thing as it was good to see if i can work whilst having a hangover. Well i can, but the day goes pretty damn slow, and you crave oporoto burgers..hence me having 2 @ 10am :\. So im writing this pretty tired and a little dazed after eating a bit pasta dinner. Yumm pasta, vegetables...and sauce.....im a chef.
So tomorrow i have off which is really good. Cant wait for it. I have an interview @ 8am tomorrow morning for this Japanese thing. I gotta do a bit of research tonight to find out exactly where on college st it is and also some info on the job stuff. So that in the morning can hopefully meet up with hadas and then come back home and enjoy the rest of the day outside in the sun.......maybe do some exercise, hope the weather holds up eh.
Just read article about the Sony/BMG music program dilemma. Sony have apologised....well lets just hope they get sued too. Random news too, Finland plummers are having problems with mobile phones getting flushed down the toilet, no i dont make these stories up. What else...well Mercedes had a bit of an embarrasing incident with the launce of its new Safety auto braking feature...which didnt actually work infront of reporters and photographers......ouch.
I guess i should really write about how im doing or something? Umm hmm uhhh.....cant i just pretend im fine? Well i am going quite well, i think i am. Im enjoying my life atm, im meeting lots of new ppl, making new friends....i love that sorta stuff. Am i distracting myself so i dont have to think about rose....i dont think so...not to a large extent. I read her blog before, was really good post very reflective (closer, come closer).
I guess i feel my life is getting on some sort of track....or direction. Well i guess its not really....i hope this Japan thing goes well i really want to be in a new place, not because i dont want to stay here, i just want a new kind of challenge or something. I guess i have come to some kind of understanding...well not understanding but idea about the entire women psyche. There just this entire level of it which basically floats just below the male psyche. Its always there and you can delve into it and get swammped by it. Actually i guess its not the women psyche, thats just probaly narrow minded. Its basically a word of thoughts and feelings which everyone has, everyone. The thing is we choose what we take in from our environment ie. what we percieve. So if we are positive about things, then positive things are percieved by us, simple. I guess i just have chosen...or tryed to focus on the positive things atm, hence positive things are happening too me..or more that i percieve things happening to me as being positive.
I have been negative about things.....i have been to that place, its not that im covering that area up..its that i understand there is that...and theres also this. I feel if i was covering it up i wouldnt be able to talk about it freely or at all. I feel good....really good...even being hungover i feel good. I feel there are many things to do in my life, i feel that i have some understanding or grasping of the bigger picture..something which i found it hard to see or invision previously. But now it just makes all much more sense. This is why i feel more like myself, i feel like how i was at the start of my relationship with rose, except this time i have some experience. There was something i was thinking about before...and now i have lost it...come on...come back to me.
eeek. Maybe Emiliana can help with my memory. Read another article about her in the drum media.....really gotta get that 1st album of hers.
There was something about anger..and relationships....but i think i have said stuff about that before and i just got to get over that. Im still confused with the whole relationship idea about not doing everything in the entire world with someone. I dont like that idea. Not being able to do everyone.....yes you can, fuck that. As if you cant have the best and greatest happyness with someone.........i can see some people have different things they want to do with their life, thats for sure. But experiencing certain things with people.......i guess i now understand that you shouldnt expect to do things with someone. expect its a bad word, want....well.....i guess any words can be mis-interpreted...wants to me are different to someone elses. Fuck sometime i still get so angry..i farkn get angry and cry. I think fuck....what was i doing...or ...more like what wasnt i doing. I cant understand somethings...sometimes....i never will, theres no reason to get angry about it..........i guess i shouldnt. But i feel still so hurt, and the thing is i know its my own bloody fault. Thats the thing, its my fault i get hurt...its my fault...i want to do things.....i shouldnt have wants....im not sure. Still confused on that matter, takes a whilst for me to understand stuff...maybe i never will.....or maybe i will not too sure, i want to understand...but maybe i dont have too. As soon as you 'want' something you dont have it. Walschy says that one or was it god? I dont want anything from anyone...thats definately one thing i have thought about. I dont want someone to do stuff with, i dont want someone to travel with, i dont want anything like that. I will do that on my own, i want to do it by myself, i will do it by myself. I like that feeling. The feeling of knowing i can do it on my own...thats its actually better for me to do that. I get excited about that.....doing things on my own..sure there are some things which would be better to do with someone...but fuck...i dont necessary want to...or well...not a relationship level, certain things i want to do with friends not that special someone. At certain times i think though that i will come to that position again........or maybe i wont. Is it wrong? Wanting someone else. Probaly not...depends to what extent. Like there will always be certain activities you will want to do with a certain person....like that romantic stuff......but i dont think about that really at all, not any more. I use to so much. I use to want to do lots of romantic stuff...it was such a buzz to make someone else happy.....is that what love is about? making someone else happy, no. You shouldnt have to make someone happy, they should already be happy....then just being with them ....two people being happy.....together....would be the best. Im such a sucker i guess. A Sucker when it comes to doing stuff or people. When im in love....or what i feel love is to me...i get stupid, its like i become this unguarded, unhibited little child. I become so vulnerable......i dont think straight, i do things......i guess i just basically get fucked up.
Ben lee cd was playing today all day at work, reminds me of many moments.......i basically listened to that cd alot whilst in perth. I really enjoyed the cd...i still do....people hate him or it, i like it, i even think the cd helped me a little whilst being away from everything. Certain lyrics i relate to more then others, ha gamble everything for love. fuck that shit so bad. fuck it so much, fuck you. I want to believe in that..i have an unlying urge too believe in it....yes its a damn chessey and popular song...i dont give a shit. Gamble everything for love and you be alright. Actually yes i will do that one day again, and i will be alright. But until i do......im going to love mylife right now and enjoy it. Enjoy it so much. I love life.....and yes i guess that does include you whoever is reading this, quatumn physics shows it..and so does that damn badly done movie What the bleep do we know, Walchsh says it...everyone does.
Inspiration comes from the wierdest places
'Remember we dont find ourselves, we create ourselves'
copyright 2005, Fridge magnet @ Cams house.
/end
So have i been many interesting things lately...well yes i guess so, life is pretty good. Basically just been working all week. Played some squash with seb, lucas and adam on monday night and was heaps of fun. First time played in ages and i was quite sore the next 2 days i could hardly bend down as my bum hurt heaps. I was pretty happy with how i played and i seemed to be semi-fit and last for most of the games. Hopefully it can turn out to to be a weekly thing, like wednesday soccer. To soccer,
last night roo and i met up after work and then had a game of pool and a beer at the tavern in chatswood. Then headed to the casino to watch the big game. We met up with my brother, masha, nzilla and some of their friends which was cool. But roo and i went off and watched the game from a different spot. We had quite a few drinks and was such a funny night. Roo was going for uraguay i think just to piss me off lol. Well that was one of the greatest sporting events ever for australia!! When i think about it....i think to myself.....where am i going to be next year in June...where will i be watching it. I get the feeling i will make a rash decision and fly to germany and watch them play........eheh i get all excited thinking about it. Anyway it was the best farkn game, my gawd, i was so excited, ecstatic....rediculasly happy. The vibe at the casino was so good too...packed out totally....and we ended up huggin lots and lots of strangers and dancing and just having a jolly good time. After the game roo and i stayed a bit longer and went to the bar and had a few cocktails. Some really good ones.....hehe its good when ur with someone who actually knows whats in and what cocktails taste like.
So had a couple of them and listened to this two piece band, vocalist and guitarist playing songs at the bar. Roo and i tried to request RATM - killin in the name of and various other artists including michael jackson but unfortunately they couldnt play them....or probaly wasnt quite the right vibe or style to play for the audience. However, we did get them to play some TLC and Kylie Minogue......persistant pays off sometimes. Well after a little boogying...we head into a cab home. Got home pretty early about 2.30ish i guess.
Work today was pretty crazy eheh, i was pretty hungover which was probaly a good thing as it was good to see if i can work whilst having a hangover. Well i can, but the day goes pretty damn slow, and you crave oporoto burgers..hence me having 2 @ 10am :\. So im writing this pretty tired and a little dazed after eating a bit pasta dinner. Yumm pasta, vegetables...and sauce.....im a chef.
So tomorrow i have off which is really good. Cant wait for it. I have an interview @ 8am tomorrow morning for this Japanese thing. I gotta do a bit of research tonight to find out exactly where on college st it is and also some info on the job stuff. So that in the morning can hopefully meet up with hadas and then come back home and enjoy the rest of the day outside in the sun.......maybe do some exercise, hope the weather holds up eh.
Just read article about the Sony/BMG music program dilemma. Sony have apologised....well lets just hope they get sued too. Random news too, Finland plummers are having problems with mobile phones getting flushed down the toilet, no i dont make these stories up. What else...well Mercedes had a bit of an embarrasing incident with the launce of its new Safety auto braking feature...which didnt actually work infront of reporters and photographers......ouch.
I guess i should really write about how im doing or something? Umm hmm uhhh.....cant i just pretend im fine? Well i am going quite well, i think i am. Im enjoying my life atm, im meeting lots of new ppl, making new friends....i love that sorta stuff. Am i distracting myself so i dont have to think about rose....i dont think so...not to a large extent. I read her blog before, was really good post very reflective (closer, come closer).
I guess i feel my life is getting on some sort of track....or direction. Well i guess its not really....i hope this Japan thing goes well i really want to be in a new place, not because i dont want to stay here, i just want a new kind of challenge or something. I guess i have come to some kind of understanding...well not understanding but idea about the entire women psyche. There just this entire level of it which basically floats just below the male psyche. Its always there and you can delve into it and get swammped by it. Actually i guess its not the women psyche, thats just probaly narrow minded. Its basically a word of thoughts and feelings which everyone has, everyone. The thing is we choose what we take in from our environment ie. what we percieve. So if we are positive about things, then positive things are percieved by us, simple. I guess i just have chosen...or tryed to focus on the positive things atm, hence positive things are happening too me..or more that i percieve things happening to me as being positive.
I have been negative about things.....i have been to that place, its not that im covering that area up..its that i understand there is that...and theres also this. I feel if i was covering it up i wouldnt be able to talk about it freely or at all. I feel good....really good...even being hungover i feel good. I feel there are many things to do in my life, i feel that i have some understanding or grasping of the bigger picture..something which i found it hard to see or invision previously. But now it just makes all much more sense. This is why i feel more like myself, i feel like how i was at the start of my relationship with rose, except this time i have some experience. There was something i was thinking about before...and now i have lost it...come on...come back to me.
eeek. Maybe Emiliana can help with my memory. Read another article about her in the drum media.....really gotta get that 1st album of hers.
There was something about anger..and relationships....but i think i have said stuff about that before and i just got to get over that. Im still confused with the whole relationship idea about not doing everything in the entire world with someone. I dont like that idea. Not being able to do everyone.....yes you can, fuck that. As if you cant have the best and greatest happyness with someone.........i can see some people have different things they want to do with their life, thats for sure. But experiencing certain things with people.......i guess i now understand that you shouldnt expect to do things with someone. expect its a bad word, want....well.....i guess any words can be mis-interpreted...wants to me are different to someone elses. Fuck sometime i still get so angry..i farkn get angry and cry. I think fuck....what was i doing...or ...more like what wasnt i doing. I cant understand somethings...sometimes....i never will, theres no reason to get angry about it..........i guess i shouldnt. But i feel still so hurt, and the thing is i know its my own bloody fault. Thats the thing, its my fault i get hurt...its my fault...i want to do things.....i shouldnt have wants....im not sure. Still confused on that matter, takes a whilst for me to understand stuff...maybe i never will.....or maybe i will not too sure, i want to understand...but maybe i dont have too. As soon as you 'want' something you dont have it. Walschy says that one or was it god? I dont want anything from anyone...thats definately one thing i have thought about. I dont want someone to do stuff with, i dont want someone to travel with, i dont want anything like that. I will do that on my own, i want to do it by myself, i will do it by myself. I like that feeling. The feeling of knowing i can do it on my own...thats its actually better for me to do that. I get excited about that.....doing things on my own..sure there are some things which would be better to do with someone...but fuck...i dont necessary want to...or well...not a relationship level, certain things i want to do with friends not that special someone. At certain times i think though that i will come to that position again........or maybe i wont. Is it wrong? Wanting someone else. Probaly not...depends to what extent. Like there will always be certain activities you will want to do with a certain person....like that romantic stuff......but i dont think about that really at all, not any more. I use to so much. I use to want to do lots of romantic stuff...it was such a buzz to make someone else happy.....is that what love is about? making someone else happy, no. You shouldnt have to make someone happy, they should already be happy....then just being with them ....two people being happy.....together....would be the best. Im such a sucker i guess. A Sucker when it comes to doing stuff or people. When im in love....or what i feel love is to me...i get stupid, its like i become this unguarded, unhibited little child. I become so vulnerable......i dont think straight, i do things......i guess i just basically get fucked up.
Ben lee cd was playing today all day at work, reminds me of many moments.......i basically listened to that cd alot whilst in perth. I really enjoyed the cd...i still do....people hate him or it, i like it, i even think the cd helped me a little whilst being away from everything. Certain lyrics i relate to more then others, ha gamble everything for love. fuck that shit so bad. fuck it so much, fuck you. I want to believe in that..i have an unlying urge too believe in it....yes its a damn chessey and popular song...i dont give a shit. Gamble everything for love and you be alright. Actually yes i will do that one day again, and i will be alright. But until i do......im going to love mylife right now and enjoy it. Enjoy it so much. I love life.....and yes i guess that does include you whoever is reading this, quatumn physics shows it..and so does that damn badly done movie What the bleep do we know, Walchsh says it...everyone does.
Inspiration comes from the wierdest places
'Remember we dont find ourselves, we create ourselves'
copyright 2005, Fridge magnet @ Cams house.
/end
posted by Joely at 1:22 am
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