Rebuilding phase
Hello,
dont know really what to write today. I started to spring clean my room but didnt get too far as got distracted by computer and also was playing some good old fashioned loud music (of corse i was singing to it).
But i have come the some kinda conclusion with my life atm, and that is im at a rebuilding phase. I guess i feel like i have been on some kind of high for the time i have been with rosie and this is the comedown phase haha. It feels a little like all the things i ignored or didnt think were that important have now caught upto me and i have to start again. Thats to do with family, friends and what i want to do. Last night it was good cooking dinner with my brother and eating with him. I hadnt done that for....well...cant remember the last time. We didnt really talk much, you know the whole masculine thing or something, but we did acknowledge eachother and chatted a bit. I guess i ignored alot of my family or didnt treat them with the most repect whilst i was in a relationship. I dont think ill do that again, its entirely my fault, getting caught up in your own world i guess. Tonight im heading over to mahsa's house for dinner with adam and her sister. Her sister nazilla, i use to remember her name by relating it to godzilla - obviously. She is a few years older then mahsa and she always has the funniest stories about her work. She use to work with ht.com.au (harris tech) in marketing and on the side make earings. She is really talented in making original designs with her earings and i think she is doing that fulltime. Quite an artwork, she sells them at selected boutique place things and i think she is going well! i definately wish her the best of luck, but i dont think she even needs that.
So am i ready for a relationship again? i dont think i am. i dont think i want a relationship atm cause i reallly need to just concentrate on myself and get my life on track again. Whilst in a relationship with rose, i really didnt have to worry about anything, was the best feeling. But now that, that is over it feels i need to start again with myself. I cant help but laugh...keep in good spirits about how unorganised and confused my life is atm. Im not that sad about it..i realise everyone goes through moments like this, its even a little somehow...exciting, underneath all the other feelings. But i cant be in a relationship right now. It wouldnt be fair on the other person or myself. I need to sort myself out first, get strong again be myself. Dont know when thats going to happen though. No need for someone to wait for that time either...thats not fair. But thats how im feeling right now, im going to give it to the end of the week and see how i feel then. No need to make rash decisions again, done that one before. Feels like i been making rash decisions for a long time. I miss making them, but right now i cant afford too. I need to rebuild.
dont know really what to write today. I started to spring clean my room but didnt get too far as got distracted by computer and also was playing some good old fashioned loud music (of corse i was singing to it).
But i have come the some kinda conclusion with my life atm, and that is im at a rebuilding phase. I guess i feel like i have been on some kind of high for the time i have been with rosie and this is the comedown phase haha. It feels a little like all the things i ignored or didnt think were that important have now caught upto me and i have to start again. Thats to do with family, friends and what i want to do. Last night it was good cooking dinner with my brother and eating with him. I hadnt done that for....well...cant remember the last time. We didnt really talk much, you know the whole masculine thing or something, but we did acknowledge eachother and chatted a bit. I guess i ignored alot of my family or didnt treat them with the most repect whilst i was in a relationship. I dont think ill do that again, its entirely my fault, getting caught up in your own world i guess. Tonight im heading over to mahsa's house for dinner with adam and her sister. Her sister nazilla, i use to remember her name by relating it to godzilla - obviously. She is a few years older then mahsa and she always has the funniest stories about her work. She use to work with ht.com.au (harris tech) in marketing and on the side make earings. She is really talented in making original designs with her earings and i think she is doing that fulltime. Quite an artwork, she sells them at selected boutique place things and i think she is going well! i definately wish her the best of luck, but i dont think she even needs that.
So am i ready for a relationship again? i dont think i am. i dont think i want a relationship atm cause i reallly need to just concentrate on myself and get my life on track again. Whilst in a relationship with rose, i really didnt have to worry about anything, was the best feeling. But now that, that is over it feels i need to start again with myself. I cant help but laugh...keep in good spirits about how unorganised and confused my life is atm. Im not that sad about it..i realise everyone goes through moments like this, its even a little somehow...exciting, underneath all the other feelings. But i cant be in a relationship right now. It wouldnt be fair on the other person or myself. I need to sort myself out first, get strong again be myself. Dont know when thats going to happen though. No need for someone to wait for that time either...thats not fair. But thats how im feeling right now, im going to give it to the end of the week and see how i feel then. No need to make rash decisions again, done that one before. Feels like i been making rash decisions for a long time. I miss making them, but right now i cant afford too. I need to rebuild.
posted by Joely at 1:24 am
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